Different beats different drums

Last night, Katie and I stayed up til 2.30 reading Please Understand Me II; a psychology book on personality which I may or may not have stolen from Stuart’s housemate Jonathan (don’t worry, I’m giving it back soon!).

The opening paragraph of the first chapter “Different Drummers” starts with a creed: “If you do not what I want please try not to tell me that my want is wrong. Or if my beliefs are different from yours, at least pause before you set out to correct them”… and so on and so forth. Just slightly lame and a little patronizing? Perhaps. But read on and you will discover this book to be a mirror into your soul. Nearly everyone that I have convinced to take the 70 question personality test have sat there in some disbelief when I read them the results…

The ‘temperament sorter’ maintains that there are four basic personalities: The Artisan: relaxed, hedonistic, talented at hands-on and people focussed kind of jobs, good at art and fun to be around. The Guardian: A naturally conservative person who values tradition and adheres to social codes, is particularly good at looking after and taking care of other people and is generally sensible and moral. The Idealist: Those who live in a world of concepts and ideas and examine everything on a grand scale and are often emotional, always searching for truth and identity. The Rational: Who view the world as existing to be analysed, are practical, logical but often off in the world of technicalities on how things work.

Within these four categories, there are another four specific categories relating to whether you are more introverted or more extraverted, and what particular qualities in this sphere pertain to you. There are pages and pages on each personality, detailing what your values are in life, what you long or search for, what you are most talented at, how and why you percieve things the way you do, how you interact with others and how you clash with others.

The result for me was The Idealist: I was called ‘The Counsellor: who is enthusiastic.. yearns for romance, seeks identity, wants to learn about the humanities …and may be attracted to creative writing as a profession’ (!!!) I found this quite mind-blowingly accurate… but probably only of interest to me because of the fact that I am an Idealist, who loves “discussing abstract matters… ideas, insights, personal philosophies, spiritual beliefs, dreams, goals, relationships.”

Katie and I literally sat there for hours talking about nearly everyone we could think of, what personality they might be and then Katie said in her  ”Well, I think I’m at a great understanding right now of everybody in my life and why they are the way they are”. Which is quite funny because she was described as being ”keenly aware of everything and everbody around them… and are eager to relate the stories they’ve uncovered, hoping to disclose some truth about people and issues.” Which is ABSOLUTELY TRUE! It pretty much sums up every conversation we have.

There is also, for your interest, a chapter on ‘Mating’ : Dating, ‘courtship’ and marriage, who you match well with and who you don’t, and as I was relieved to see, I am in the best possible match with the only problems being that I can be carried away with feelings and give almost all my attention to the relationship and desire ‘verbal expressions of affection’ while my rational match values autonomy and is not likely to verbally express their feelings because of their distaste for being redundant. Ha ha!!!!

I feel extremely geeky in my fascination with this book but my overriding joy at such amazing discoveries won out when I decided to write this blog. Then, in my usual analytical manner, while watching Sex and the City I reckon that each of the characters fits into one of those personalities … probably why it is quite obvious that they would never be friends in real life! But interestingly, probably one of the reasons for the shows sucess in that there’s ‘some one for everyone’ to identify with.

Carrie Bradshaw: Idealist “I couldn’t help but wonder… are relationships the religion of the nineties?”

Charlotte York: Guardian “After careful consideration, I have decided that I am getting married this year.” 

Samantha Jones: Artisan “Who cares what you are, just enjoy it!” and

Miranda Hobbes: Rational “Forget about my special f**king day and be normal, please, I beg of you!”

Well… with those insights shared with the world, I must get out of my world of ideas and adhere to the reality of WORK. Ce’st la vie!