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My head is just above the surface. Any second now the water will creep up my neck, lap against my chin, splash into my mouth, and I will begin to choke, splutter, cough… before I am helplessly consumed, I cannot see, and my head dissapears beneath a dark murky lake. The surface will look smooth and undisturbed. But underneath I will be fighting for my life, against the sea monsters that have come to life beneath, and the reeds that swirl up with a force of their own and snag my ankles, dragging me down, down, down…
Ok enough of the fantasy. The essays are coming to get me, you get it. 14,ooo words. 1,500 of them later I can safely say … its a hopeless case. Especially since I spent last night writing a paper to present on the wrong topic on the wrong week. Oops, sorry, idiot, your presenting NEXT week. But good on you for doing this weeks reading too. And writing a paper on it, now you might actually be able to contribute to class discussions. For once. GAH.
I wish I was Rory Gilmore right now. I’d bury myself alive in the library until it was all magically done. It’s just an impossible task, despite my fascination with everything I’m studying. I want to sit back and immerse myself in ‘the good the true and the beautiful’ …. oh … the sublime as well, without having to write a thesis on it.
And I keep finding things to do, like go visit my sister, go to my friends gigs, go on a date or three, go shopping on brunswick street, check facebook, talk on msn, write a blog, get depressed about how I’m not going to splendour in the grass, that i can’t afford to go to the gold coast with Bec, Katie, Doug and James and visit Tom (but I just might anyway), and that I’m in serious danger of being ‘a smoker’ (yeeeck). There is also the lovely distraction of dreaming about what I’m going to do in semester break: learn french, learn the violin, read 1001 books to read before you die, watch every episode of scrubs, run a marathon, paint a mural, go on a mission trip to cambodia….. you get the idea.
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